Feb 9, 2020 Diary entry: Yeah, it’s been almost sixty years ago when a wise man told a young Paulie, “Little Paulie, men are still peddling this spiritual crap about evil in the world being from another dimension”, “All evil in this world comes from the minds of men”, “Evil belongs to those who spawn it”, “Evil men are not the spawn of the devil, evil men are the spawn of men”, Paulie has taken these wise words to heart, maybe there is some one out there who may do the same, I don’t know, but know this, men do lie, yes, it is not easy to fathom, but the truth is, men are inborn, inbred liars, liars do indeed spawn more liars, it’s a law of nature, animals reproduce after their own kind, men reproduce after their own kind, the only difference is, you can know how an animal will act at all times, they are pre programmed, but men have free will that leads them to behavior that can go in any direction, when they have chosen their direction, they groom their snakelet babies to follow the slimy trail they have laid out, please be aware that their slime trails are everywhere on earth, you people have been slipping and sliding in their slime so long you have come to believe it is normal, it is not, wake up and smell the fetid slime, well, this has been Paulie, speaking to you from a foreign and far away dimension you can’t recognize, earth, yes, Paulie is speaking from his stationary, immovable earth which stands upon the ancient pillars of time,truth, and reality, you are the outer space aliens that they are always talking about, you people live way out in the deepest darkness and you are walking the earth as an invasive specie that is really taxing Paulie’s patience, anyway, as Paulie continues to wish that the brainless aliens would get the hell off the streets and out of the grocery store lines, he wishes his earth family everywhere, love, rest, shalom…

Feb 9, 2020 Diary entry: Hey everybody, Paulie here, a long time ago a wise man told a little Paulie “Man only invented ficticious devils to misdirect us”, “The true devils reside within men”, so it seems while we continue to look everywhere for the devil, we don’t see that he is within men we vote for, love on the basketball court, bow down to in Britain, adore on television, and emulate in our lives because we are so overflowing with love that we just gotta love anything or anyone, love, love, love, it makes the ball earth world go ’round right, you people truly are on a ball earth that is spinning it’s way through the vast nothingness of space, you are gone, your raggedy souls populate a fake galaxy far, far away, may you never return, this has just been a quick update on the state of the world, everyone down here at Joe’s Uptown Bar and Grill is in agreement, we bid you Fairyland Fools sweet dreams, and may you never wake up, you are the captain of your ship, and may we say, you rudderless idiots have run aground but still believe you are sailing, well, this is Paulie and the gang here at Joe’s, wishing love and shalom to the family, to the rest of you, we wish, well, I think we have already said it, stay in hell…

Feb 8, 2020 Diary entry: Paulie has a Jeopardy question, or answer, whatever, anyway, Answer-“Alex Trebek is an asshole”, Question-“Why is Alex Trebek an asshole”, this has been a new feature here at Paulie Gee’s Realtime Diary that we are trying out, we want a more game show motif so people can feel like they are participating in the conversation, here’s one more question, or answer, whatever, “Because Alex eats bat turds”, answer, or question, whatever, “Why does Alex eat bat turds”, we wanted to throw in a bat turd comment today because everything today is about bats, the virus thing, the president’s homage to Louisville Sluggers, and his BAT tax, and the fact he has batted his opposition into the lower tier bleachers, well, this is Paulie, batting out a hard home run of love to his people, to the rest of you, Paulie lays down a soft bunt of stinking bat droppings, shalom all…

Feb 8, 2020 Diary entry: Booze (Boo), Devil Rum, Beelzebub’s Bounty, El Diablo’s Destiny Drink, Paulie has drank with the devil and the devil has given to Paulie a message for the people of the earth, his message he wants Paulie to relate is “Fuck you”, well, Paulie has done his duty, so he will simply say “Watch out”, “Easy on the martini olives”, and “Keep the faith”, the faith you choose is entirely up to you, anyway, this is Paulie toasting a high martini to those who have given up faith for knowledge, shalom to all my loved ones who know what they know, shalom, and to all you who clutch onto false faith, Paulie shouts out a most true “Go to hell”…

Jan 31, 2020 Diary entry: Hey, it’s Paulie again, been watching this old TV Western, this thirsty bounty hunter came upon two guys up in the hill country, he inquired as to their provisions, they answered that all they had to drink was “snow water”, I think they must have been gay because when the one guy said “snow water”, he smiled really weird, like Beaver Cleaver’s mom smiled with that frozen jack-o-lantern mouth she had that reminded you of the Zig Zag man biting into Auntie Laneesha’s lemon meringue pie at the amateur cooking contest at last year’s county fair when everybody came down with stomach cramps and “walking diarrhea”, anyway, speaking of the lady who was Beaver Cleaver’s mother on the beloved television show we all reveled in, she was actually a West Hollywood prostitute before being discovered by a producer who was into children’s shows, she was a down and out hooker who couldn’t get a john until John Houseman discovered her and cast her in his show, a lot of things in this world have been covered up, do your own research people, Paulie advises you all to do your own research, shalom…

Jan 29,2020 Diary entry: Well, this Russia thing just seems to drag on with no end in sight, Paulie pleads for the last time to let this thing go, it is tearing our people and nation apart, Paulie has already admitted full responsibility for his own actions and the actions of all who were unfortunately drug into the whole mess, it was long ago, the world was a very different place, it was desolate and cold, it was during the Cold War, cold war between the cute little Russian girl and her nation and little Paulie and his nation, the two of us tried to come together as something other than enemies, we tried but we failed, Paulie bears no hatred toward the cute little Ukranian girl he once knew who stole little Paulie’s secrets, and possibly, the secrets of Paulie’s nation, but let it be known this day, this is Paulie’s last plea to let this thing go or Paulie is gonna play his trump card, Paulie has a Rook card that you will never see coming, an out-of-patience Paulie will revel in revealing revelation about the deeper goings on that took place that sweet summer long ago from our little chateau down the railroad track by the abandoned trestle which was a burnt-out railway maintenance shed, if you don’t stop this most egregious witch hunt and focus on the more important issue of forgiveness and bridging the gap between brothers whom you once loved, Paulie is gonna blow your minds, Paulie is gonna blow your minds like Jimmy Durante blew his nose in that old movie entitled “The Snot Nosed Kid And The Snooty Spinster”, I may have dreamt that, anyway, all us Americans sit at the same table, please stop the food fight, drop that handful of mashed potatoes, get up from your seat, and go across the table to your brother or sister and give them a hug and a kiss on their neck, comb the green beans from your sister’s hair and tell her you love her more than some political witch hunt in which the witch has been roasted until nothing remains on the spit, let’s douse this inferno before we are all consumed by it, Paulie’s most fervent desire is that we all may return to the former days before we became so mixed up in this destructive quagmire of loathsome political posturing that has caused all Americans to cramp up within their collective consciousness, our once-clear American mind has become fogged with the haze of hatefulness over Paulie’s long ago relationship with a cute little Ukrainian girl who stole innocent Paulie’s secrets, and presumably, the secrets of little Paulie’s nation, please people, it’s time to let the past be reburied with all other past mistakes, let’s leave dead things dead, we must focus on the living, let us rebuild trust so that we can confidently drink from the coffee carafe, and once again trust that the brownies are not defiled by angry anarchists whose motive is to bring about revolutionary division between the two sides of something that shouldn’t have existed in the first place, so if you don’t want an especially ugly Rook card played on your ass, get up and hug your brother or sister, tell them they are worth more than your stupid political leanings, let’s hold a special midterm election and vote for a return to good old fashioned love, there are no Republicans or Democrats in heaven and there shouldn’t be any on earth either, well, this is Paulie, holding back his ugly Rook card along with his usual ugly closing comment, shalom all…

Feb 1, 2020 Diary entry: It’s a dark night out here on the Moors, the campfire went out hours ago, the only light consists of a few splintered bones of moonlight that stab the night, making the darkness bleed out into your very soul, bloody bones of dead moonlight become stuck within your psyche like some horrible parasite that attaches itself to a spot you can’t reach, and there is no one around to pull it out, a painful tick that bites your mind until you scream to the very heavens and you ask “Why”, “Why here, why now, oh why, oh why oh why”, anyway, I caught one small fish last night, I don’t know what it was but I ate it anyway, also, the wienies and beans were especially good even though they were cold, I had dropped my matches down the latrine hole I dug outside the camp, ergo, no fire for the wienies and beans, no matter, this isn’t the end of the trail yet, they can put quicksand mires in Paulie’s path, they can build walls, they can ridicule Paulie at every turn, but Paulie will never give up, Paulie will keep on, the trail is difficult and fearsome but the fire within Paulie burns hot and it will never go out, Paulie may sup on cold wienies and beans but Paulie’s fire will most certainly cook his adversaries like dry stubble in a firestorm from you know where, well, I hear the coyotes howling and an owl is asking who it is that is still up at this ungodly hour, so Paulie will wish all a goodnight, good dreams, good wishes, and good luck, shalom…

Jan 30, 2020 Diary entry: We were about forty miles from the border, the night was darker than usual, the campfire smoked like a demented Chinese emporium owner whose back room opium den was the finest in town, we were conversing about life in general when there was a sound out of the night, “Woo woo woo whoooo”, I froze up as fear gripped me in a claw hold within my very bowels like that old moose head wrestler from Moose Head Maine did to the scientific wrestler Wilbur Snyder, back before wrestling was rigged, it sounded like my wife, how did she ever track me this far, the chilling sound echo’ed through the dark forest again, “Woo woo woo whoooo”, there is a saying in these parts, “When the wife tracks you this far, you’re dead”, as my chest tightened and my bowels loosened, I had an eerie feeling like there was something very important that I forgot to do, a New Testament bible verse came to mind, Paul 6:16, where Jesus says “You better worship me motherfucker”, “Don’t force me to preach to you in hell”, yeah my friend, when the trail gets loose and the wife is tight on your scent, maybe it’s time to face facts, you’re done, your little camping trip with the boys is cooked like last night’s fish you caught in the river that turned out to be not a fish at all but you ate it anyway because that is what camping is all about, well, this is Paulie, down by the riverbank, whispering softly so as to not scare the fish, shalom, to the rest of you, Paulie softly whispers “Go to hell”…oh, hang on , Paulie has a joke he heard around the campfire last night, “How do you tell a Chinese from a North Korean?”, answer, “The North Korean denies he’s a Chinese”, don’t think too hard about this one, some of these jokes are funny one time, but they don’t work twice, they are like a Band Aid that works once but you don’t want to use it again, well, one more time, shalom…

Jan 28, 2020 Diary entry: Please excuse Paulie today, this is going to be a very short diary entry, I have to fire a long standing employee, he was embezzling from the company, he was our book keeper, the Bob Cratchet son of a bitch stole all our book keeping records, he left all the money in the safe and took the records of the past three years, all our in records and all our out records, if I ever catch that Bob Cratchet bastard, I’ll cook his plum pudding like it was his last Boxing Day on earth, I’ll pull his ears like an English Christmas Day cracker until his head pops out those funny paper hats and tin whistles, well, this is Paulie, saying “Keep your money close and your book keeping records closer”, oh, and yeah, your loved ones also, shalom…

Jan 26, 2020 Diary entry: Paulie here, sipping one of my well known Skunk in the Hole cocktails and supping on corndogs, I’ve been thinking about my fifth grade gym teacher, the one who said he wouldn’t sell me a glass of piss if I were on fire when I offered him my nickle for a sip out of his canteen when we were on our usual Tuesday forced march to the city dump to tidy up the grounds, I read his obituary in the newspaper today, it says he died at home from a long illness, it is obviously a cover story, they probably drug his bloated remains from the river out by the sewage settling ponds, he was always a bloated turd of the highest order, he must have been one of the high degrees in one of those secret orders that would never reveal the secrecy surrounding the fact that they were all stinking turds, but that has never been much of a secret to Paulie, the bastards can duck but they are not hidden, they are like naked ghosts who can’t hide because their rotted clothes betray them, they may hide from the eyes but they cannot hide from the nose, they smell like a marathon runner’s socks after a three-state run during the Dog Days of August, Paulie pours out a high Skunk in the Hole and he drinks to another dead memory from his childhood, may the dead stay that way and never haunt Paulie again, shalom my people, shalom…