Shutting Down (As The World Shuts Down)

July 21, 2020 Diary entry: Margie, will you get the head of Corporate Security on line two. Thank you. Fenster, where are those files I asked for. Reginald, take this to Copy, I need fifteen of these. “Hello, I’m on line three”, “Wooster, I’m glad you called”, “Do you have that dossier I asked for?”, “I want it in here on my desk by noon”, “I don’t care if the Himalayas are snowed in”, “Get your ass on a plane!”. Has Bricker returned from his assignment yet? “Margie!”, “Where’s that goddamned coffee!” Colster, bring me the Nickols file, Burman, where’s that memo I dictated, get it down to Personnel immediately, where are the files I asked for an hour ago? Margie, call Special Security down here to sweep for bugs, then get my hat and coat, and get the magnum out of the wall safe, I have some personal business to attend to, notify the Runner that I have another job for him, give this to the Special Courier, I want it delivered at exactly 3:00 PM, and send along an armed guard to make sure he gets there. “Where’s that goddamned coffee!”, whew, there is so much more to closing down a struggling multi national diary than you might think, this little endeavor of ours grew into somewhat of a monster over the years, we fed and nourished a small idea until it became a great angry colossus that threatened to devour us, and now here we are today, putting the lid on a great stinking trash can that even the rats reject, we made this mess and we will clean it up, Margie, call my wife and tell her I won’t be home for supper, I’ll call her when I land, “I asked for coffee!”, “Get Wooster back on the phone”. “I want him to drop what he’s doing and get on the Clayton case”. Well, I’m sorry we don’t have a diary entry for you today, but it’s just been a madhouse around here the past week, I’ll have one of our writers rerun some of our old stuff if he can locate the records, we moved all our transcripts out of the warehouse and they are now in my cousin’s apartment, okay then, I have business to take care of, this is Paulie saying, “Marge!”, “Where’s that goddamned coffee!”…

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