Old School Memories From The Gang Down At Joe’s Uptown Bar and Grill

June 12, 2020 Diary entry: Hi, it’s Paulie here with a few jokes I heard last night down at Joe’s Uptown Bar and Grill, people were reminiscing about the old school days; do you know why the cafeteria lady always picked her nose with her thumb, because she used her fingers to dig in her butt, do you know why the shop teacher always picked his nose with his thumb, because he lost his fingers in the band saw, do you know why the history teacher taught about the Revolutionary War, Abe Lincoln’s honesty, the globe earth, and space travel, because he knew if he told the truth he would lose his job, do you know why your English teacher hit you on the head with your own Seventh Grade English textbook, because you said English was the devil’s forked tongue straight from hell, do you know why the geography teacher taught his class using the globe model exclusively, because he was stupid, do you know why you had to stay after school and sit in a darkened office, because you refused to use your slave name on the test, do you know why they started using multiple choice tests, because they didn’t want any more of your essay answers, do you know why they took the rope off the flagpole, because the last time you hung a Jesus dummy the whole town rioted, do you know why they banned you from brown bagging your lunch, because your frog got out and hopped in someone’s jello, do you know why the janitor won’t mop the hallway with your head, because he was told not to do it any more, do you know why they closed down the science fair early, because your smell receptor project involved comparing the odor of a rotten squirrel to that of a dead skunk, I think everyone down here tonight at Joe’s is in total agreement, our twelve years of school stunk, well, it’s getting on in the day, time to go root around in the pantry, Paulie says shalom…


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