Victory Is Not Always Sweet

Apr 22, 2020 Diary entry: Hey everybody, this will be an informal diary entry , so at ease, smoke ’em if you got ’em, we’ll take a rest from our march, but know this, the march for truth will never slacken, we will not waver in our noble endeavor to win the hearts and minds of our fellow soldiers and citizens, I must apologize for the meager snack layout today, there was a snafu on the catering front and I’m afraid you will have to drink canteen water instead of our usual punch, a skirmish broke out in the break room earlier and our pastry cart was raided, detente seems to have failed between East and West, some of our Christian writers from the West side of the break room overheard a band of our Mooslim techies from the East telling Jesus jokes again and they opened fire with Danish Pastries, the more militant Islamist’s returned a volley of Jelly Donuts, it was like Custard Tart’s Last Stand in there, they sunk the Bismark’s, an underwater fleet of Filled Subs attacked the Sandwich Cookie Islands, there were no survivors who didn’t have icing in their hair, their defenses lagged because their Cannonolis jammed, the entire break room ran red with jelly, now let me be perfectly Eclair here, I have done my best to keep our most militant religious factions at peace, but under such close quarters, it is a Sticky Bun situation at best, I plead with both sides, let us sound the Cream Horns of peace and Turnover the most fanatical religious zealots to our Personnel director who will show them instructional videos on how to be sweeter to each other, well, it’s time to field strip those butts, snug up the boot laces, and fall back in, we got ground to cover, shalom…

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