Let The Healing Begin

Jan 20,2021 Diary entry: As our nation begins the healing process and our government becomes kinder and gentler again, we here at PaulieGee’sDiaryBlog are going to try to heal our humor and make it kinder and gentler without so many victims, here is a sample of our new kinder victimless jokes. Question: Why did the bear go over the mountain? Answer: To go to the bathroom. (He was a neat freak and didn’t want to mess up his woods). Question: Why did the chicken cross the road? Answer: To get back on his own side. (He had already crossed the road earlier). Question: Why did the cow jump over the moon? Answer: He figured that if Buzz Aldrin could lie about it, so could he. Okay, maybe that one isn’t so victimless. Question: Why was Mary Mary quite contrary? Answer: Because her name didn’t rhyme with bitch. Hold on! How did that one get in here! I’ll fire the son of a bitch who is responsible! I want a name on my desk by martini time! I shouldn’t have said that, the last time I said that I ended up with a whole pile of names on my desk and none of them were kind or gentle. Okay, next joke. Question: Why were the four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie? Answer: Because the cake was already full of crows. Question: Why did the dish run away with the spoon? Answer: Because they were afraid of the cereal killer. (Herbicide and pesticide residues, inorganic compounds, and refined sugar). Question: Why did Little Bo Peep lose her sheep? Answer: She was a rebel and just couldn’t follow the herd anymore. Question: Why did Little Jack Horner sit in the corner? Answer: Because that’s where the guys were smoking weed. Question: What did the last little piggie say to the French taxi driver? Answer: Oui Oui Oui all the way home. This is Pauie, please join me as we all try to heal our nation and ourselves, it sure won’t be easy, but we just may be able to do it this time, who knows, love and peace…

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