Seeing Stars

Oct 4, 2020 Diary entry: This will be one of the last great stabs at humor that Paulie will make, as all humor has been depleted from this stationary enclosed earth, there is no more humor left, there is only one final frontier of humor left, and that is in outer space, so unless they discover some new universe network in a brand new multi universal system that has been squared to the cube root of the standard dimensional mean calculation, this will be it for Paulie’s humor, he has more serious business to attend to, anyway, I can’t find my hover pod, I have no idea where I parked it last night, the only thing I remember is leaving the bar out on Nebula V, the new place that just opened up out on the outer ring of Nibiru Three’s ninth galactic dimensional band where they serve those cute little drinks with the umbrellas in them and they pump xylotriconium into the air space to rejuvinate you as you drink, I’m lucky that I don’t have to use public wormhole transportation in which you can never get a seat during a 2 billion hour trip in a stuffy tube which smells of a combination of garlic and urine, the government has been promising for years that they would pump xylotriconium into the public wormholes, but they never do. After a 2 billion hour ride on a stuffy wormhole, you have some very weary travelers who could use a little xylotriconium boost, I suppose we are fortunate that the public wormhole transportation worker’s walkout is over, they wanted better pay and an end to the 40 billion hour workweek, whew, I shouldn’t have drunk that last Sonic Blastoff Cocktail, anyway, I’ll call the Inter Universe Locator Service later, after I’ve had a little hair of the Dog Star, and get the coordinates of the whereabouts of my hover pod, it will really cost me this time, as the charge for using the locater service rises exponentially after the third use of their service, I expect my digital space Amero-Euro-Yuan debit account to take a drastic hit this month, geez, I feel like I just flew 250 thousand billion light years to the parallel universe and I had to walk home, boy have I got a headache, my head feels like all the stars in the Whirlpool Galaxy had too much squid and Saki last night and they got dizzy and they all threw up in my brain, I really gotta start staying home at night, well, this is Paulie, sending 50 thousand billion love wishes out across that great dark chasm that separates us, shalawam…

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