Mrs. Santa Claus, Kim Jong Un, And Speeding love

Aug 2, 2020 Diary entry: Paulie met the most amazing woman last night down at the bar, she was a vision, how can I describe her, she smelled like fresh baked cherry pie and candy canes, and she looked exactly like Mrs. Santa Claus, we talked and laughed for the longest time, then she suddenly threw her drink in my face, slapped me, and stormed out, I don’t know why, I had just finished explaining to her the meaning of the term “buttonholer”, people have no idea what the “button business” really is, anyway, Paulie has spent a lot of time searching for the parallel universe, the world that is parallel to this one, where all things are pure and wonderful, well, Paulie found the parallel universe last night after the bar closed, and guess what, the parallel world is just as crappy as this one, anyway, Paulie has been fasting, in small steps, 14 to 16 hour fasts at a time, I always seem to break my fasts after the usual end-of-day five o’clock concoctions that go so well with a campfire and a can of beans, Paulie asserts definitively and certainly, that he will scale this mountain in small steps, let there be no doubt, one day the peak of this thing will lie under Paulie’s feet like so much sand on the beach, Paulie’s little rubber flip flops will dominate this thing like Kim Jong Un will eventually dominate and ride the Americans like he rides his prized white stallion who he calls Wind From Hell, yes my friends, Kim rides his white horse Wind From Hell naked, and he will most certainly ride you Americans like he rides Wind From Hell, with no pants on, you have been warned, the Man From the North has been prophesied to lift the skirts of the Daughter of Babylon and give her a good spanking, you little offspring Americans are gonna cry out to your momma, but she will not answer, Kim will be riding her too, like Wind From Hell, scatter you weak little American offsprings, Kim is riding into town, and the Wind From Hell is angry, so anyway, things have been pretty quiet around here the past day or two, not much to report, a company is due in next month to remove all the pods from the pod room and tear down the wall paneling that is covered in religious hate speech, the building owner says he is going to entirely gut the place when we finally leave, well, we will return back here next time when there is more to say, in the meantime, keep both hands on the steering wheel, stay in your lane, don’t weave to the right or to the left, watch the speed traps, and never look back, this the the Realtime gang, wishing a high speed love to all the family who are out on the highway, shalawam…


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