Diasporic Atheism, Zoroastrianism, And Dumb Ass Smart Meters

May 19, 2020 Diary entry: Shalawam everybody, it’s Paulie and the gang down here at Diary Headquarters, I’m sorry if you can’t hear me over the music and raucous laughter, it’s the party of the century down here, I’m sorry about all you who must stay in isolation because you’re sick, you really ought’a be here, anyway, the reason we joke so much about religion is because we have many of the world’s religions represented here, everyone has a different belief system and they continually ridicule other people whose beliefs don’t jibe with their own, so we have Jesus jokes, Allah jokes, Shiva jokes, Zoroaster jokes, and some one just told me an insane story about why the Laughing Buddha is so happy when he sits down, and you won’t believe what the Pseudo-Druids say his throne actually is, come back and I’ll tell you later when all these other readers aren’t here, I think the ancient Druids get a bad rap these days, they aren’t all wearing dark capes doing dark things with dark intentions, one of our Druid priests works down at Copies-R-Us and he calls the bingo games on Friday, and he gets us free copy paper, he’s just a regular guy who brings the most delightful canapes to work and shares them with everybody, anyway, there was gonna be a purpose to this latest diary entry, some reason I’m here other than the fact I’m bored because the animals are all at the vet’s due to an infestation of fleas, and the power company turned off the electricity because they installed a smart meter without my knowledge and over charged me 500 dollars, and when I called to tell them to remove their dumb ass smart meter and take the dumb ass charge off my bill, and explain to me what dumb ass was responsible, well, they sent a guy out to remove their smart meter, but they didn’t replace it with another dumb ass meter, so my battery will probably be going out soon; thank you California for warning us about these bastards and their dumb ass smart meters several years ago, I wasn’t caught by surprise because of you, anyway, speaking of religious nuts, why did the Mr. Peanut man quit his successful Los Angeles law practice in the city, renounce Diasporic Atheism and convert to Islam and move to the Valley to grow grapes, give up, because he knew deep down he was a Planter, one more joke, why did Zoroaster the Persian prophet wear shiny pink silk slippers with the turned-up toes, because he stepped in dog crap with his slippers while taking the garbage out and his wife wasn’t home, well, my battery is running low, I better cut this short while I can still say shalawam, so, shalawam……

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