A Little Medical Heads Up

May 17, 2020 Diary entry: It seems everybody these days has some kind of health advice, they are only too glad to recommend a diet, supplements, colon cleansing systems, probiotic golden seal immune boosters, everybody’s a doctor, well, let me tell you, everybody who says they are a doctor are not always a doctor, one time a guy told me he was a doctor and he said I needed to take my pants off for an exam, well, fool me once, anyway, the reason I called you all here today is to go over some much-needed information that can change your life, your outlook, your purpose, and your very reason for living, your very soul itself may be transformed into something you never dreamed possible, we here at Paulie Gee’s Realtime Diary are offering a self improvement course, it consists of thirty six compact discs, each wonderful disc is yours for only $19.99 plus tax, you can receive the entire thirty six CD set for only $172.39, but you will have to act fast, this offer expires at midnight and after that you will have to pay full price, we prefer you send cash, but a check will work, our only desire is to help you, the cost of the program only covers our expenses, we make no money on our self improvement sessions, money is not our motive but please remember to sign your check, thank you, now on to other business, we’ve had questions and comments about whether it’s okay to take your pet’s tranquilizers because we are all experiencing anxiety these days, we don’t really recommend taking animal drugs, I took some of my cat’s new tranquilizers that the vet prescribed and I didn’t like the effects, I spent the whole afternoon gorging on tuna fish and watching bird videos online, I have no idea what dog tranquilizers would do, but you could find yourself crapping on your pillow and chewing up your best shoes, who knows, I think the best advice we can give is to consult with your veterinarian about possible side effects of the medications he provides, and always take as directed, now I had something I wanted to warn everyone about but it seems my train of thought went into the tunnel and never came out, oh well, this is Paulie, reaching for another cat pill and his almost empty bottle of schnapps, I think Animal Planet has a special on about the birds of the South American Plains, I don’t want to miss it, this is Paulie, telling you people that you better tranquil out, be happy, and stop the nonsense, shalom…

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