Please Hire My Closest And Dearest Friend, _______.

May 13, 2020 Diary entry: Boy, there is more to closing down an internationally recognized diary company than I ever thought possible, I didn’t know we had so many employees, I’ve been cutting severance checks all morning and trying to compose some sort of form letter that contains a hazy type of gibberish that can be construed as a recommendation for future employment, you know, a reference letter that says you are lucky to have my ex employee as a job applicant, and know this, he was my beloved, and we were best friends at my company, but an unfortunate occurrence caused us to split, please take a chance on_____, you won’t regret it, anyway, there is one particular guy I’ll be glad to never see again, he was the authorized representative of Horticulture City, the guy who came by every few weeks to spray the yard, shrubs, and flowers on the grounds of Paulie Gee’s Realtime Diary, he was a drunken ex Russian revolutionary who claimed he had once worked for the Czar’s nephew, Sir Nicholas Nickelby, caring for the grounds and planting the seeds of revolution that he was sure would someday grow and take hold, he also claimed his eldest son was a Cosmonaut who had once spent six years in outer space and never once called his wife to explain why he left, anyway, the nitwit told the same joke every time he visited, about an elderly lady on his route, and how he “sprayed her bush”, god, how do I ever get mixed up with such moronic dip shits, it’s bad enough I had to work with so many of them these past years, I guess it’s true what they say, “If you want to bring home the bacon, you gotta wallow with the hogs”, well, I hear some people upstairs hollering out the windows, I better go up and try to calm some jittery nerves, this whole thing is a new paradigm that we have never known, our horizon is definitely bleak-looking, but we will carry on as usual, we shall carry the lantern of truth, we shall illuminate the dark corners of stupidity wherever it exists, and we shall never stop the march that we march, we are no longer a solid cohesive group, we are now individuals, sent out into the world to convey what Paulie Gee’s Realtime Diary has always conveyed, a good sense of propriety, a good sense of who we are, and jokes that can light up the dark horizon we face, this is Paulie, heading down to his office to pour out a large martini into the lid of his Thermos, light one up, and gaze into the smoke, and as his imagination dissolves into tears, instead of recollections, he sends much love to his people, shalom…


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