Lies, Lies, Lies, And A Bloody Head

May 11, 2020 Diary entry: It’s true, Paulie’s life has only been in his head, his life is all only in his head, Paulie’s world only exists within his distorted mind, Paulie was forced to make up fantastic tales to tell people so they would love him, what is so wrong with a worm dreaming he has wings, and he can fly and hunt down great wide birds who ate his friends, Paulie only wanted to know what it was like to fly, if only for a brief time; the thing is, whether Paulie crawls upon the ground, or he flies over it, he is still Paulie, and Paulie is no more than the sum of his own mind, and Paulie’s mind is a deceptive thing, Paulie’s mind had set out to deceive people, but it ended up deceiving Paulie, Paulie was caught in his own net, actually, Paulie’s net is fake, fake like everything else, all Paulie’s stories are fake, Paulie never dated a medium who could talk to the dead, he never took her on a dream date to Kim Eel Dung’s Floating Fish Bar and Grill where we feasted on a glorious seafood meal that people of the mainland could never understand, it was all a lie, Paulie is not a real murder investigator, and he never had his chopsticks broken in the alley behind Panda Express, he never saw a beautiful tall dark haired Oriental lady wearing a dress that waved like the sea enter Panda Express on a hot rainy summer night with her umbrella dripping, it was all a lie, Paulie made the whole thing up because he thought people would love him more if he said he had been on the trail of a hideous-looking One Eared Man who wore a jade ear and one regular ear, the Man With The Jade Ear was the distant cousin of Mr. Kim, Mr. Kim was the most feared and powerful man in Shing Dong Prefecture, Kim had killed a man once and everyone knew it, but no one ever spoke of it in anything but a whisper, I wished I had never known Kim, I wished I had never worked for him, I wished I had never taken his dirty money, well, that’s all lies too, I’ve never even been to Shing Dong Prefecture before, and I never tracked a guy who wore a jade ear; lies, all lies, Paulie is fake, and all his exploits are fake, Paulie’s real life has no substance at all, he is merely a breath of air that stirs for a moment in time, time will never run out, but Paulie’s short breath of life will, even Paulie’s dreams are fake, he never got chased by a bull that had a face like Jackie Gleason who came out at the end of the show drinking coffee and smoking a cigarette, saying “Take it away Sammy!”, the dream about the orb-carrying mice following me, and I ended up playing five card stud at my kitchen table with my cat who wore a formal tam on his head and squinted from the cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth, and the tall dark haired beautiful cigarette lady who softly wafted among the crowd, and gently handed me a pack of Galloise’s and I tipped her a brand new hundred, and I lit one up and told the cat to deal, I was gonna own this casino before I woke up or the loan sharks would be calling me in the morning, that dream never happened, the cigarette lady never told me she needed a ride back to her beach house because she only wanted to see what I looked like under the moonlight, Paulie is simply a liar, Paulie is a lie, and his life is a lie, well, it’s getting very late, almost 2:00 AM, and the dogs are acting very oddly, a report just reached me about an escaped mental patient who was last seen in my neighborhood, he was wearing hospital pajamas and he was carrying a bloody head, anyway, some one is at the door so I’ll cut this short and wish my loved ones love, and the rest of you, well…

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