Men Who Catch Fleas

May 3, 2020 Diary entry: Oh god, I was changing channels and I caught a glimpse of Washington Week, I heard Big Joe say he didn’t have sex with that dog, it’s the same old tired script written for Bill; when Bill looked into the camera with his repentant puppy face and said he had never had sex with Lassie, the world believed him, these people all lie, they lie with dogs, and they catch fleas, that is why when they speak, they move their hands and arms about like they are giving semaphore signals to an approaching airplane, these flea-bitten antsy freaks can’t sit still any better than the flea-ridden dog they just finished kissing, now people have been accusing Paulie of trying to influence elections, but Paulie knows there are no elections, the elections only exist within the minds of the ignorant, elections don’t exist in the real world, but the real world is foreign to you, you prefer Fairy Land where you can elect the dog lover of your choice who only pats the dogs on their heads, who never pull a dog’s ears, most of you don’t know what it means to pull a dog’s ears, and Paulie will most certainly not explain it to you, you are simply not worth the time, Paulie has a life he needs to live, he hasn’t much time left, he is done speaking to dumb fence posts who can’t hear his words, Paulie is packing up his tent and his cooler and he is saying good bye to you all, you are on your own, Paulie is closing up shop and going fishing, he may never return, shalom…


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