A Juvenile Detainee, Buzz Aldrin, And A Bag Of Crap

Apr 24, 2020 Diary entry: Well, as the Scamdemic rages on and people everywhere hunker down behind masks and food supplies, we here at Diary Headquarters are busy writing jokes and funny anecdotes, our returning old young internet adviser has many funny stories to tell about his most recent incarceration in Juvenile Hall, it’s very fortunate he is a juvenile because if he wasn’t, he’d be up the river without the proverbial bond money, he would be paddling a lead canoe with toothpick paddles, his waders would be allowing consternation to leak in from the usual corrupt judge who makes decisions by the horoscope and the size of his bribe contribution, it’s no wonder these ancient judges don’t retire, there is too much easy money to be made within the legal system, hey, I just learned that a dog landed on the moon once, I think it was Buzz Aldrin’s wife’s pug, the story I got was that Buzz left the house and didn’t return for a whole week, and he had to come up with some kind of excuse or he was gonna get reamed out but good, so he told his wife he took her dog to the moon so the dog could do his doody and he wouldn’t have to shovel it up, he was tired of cleaning the patio and lawn because his wife’s dog ate lots of stuff he shouldn’t have, if you know what I mean, well, Buzz Aldrin, being the consummate shit shoveler he is, he came up with a typical Freemasonic bullshit story to tell his wife; if you want to know about shit, Buzz is your man, if you want to know about loose-boweled dogs, his wife is your man, and no, that is not a typo, anyway, on to the news of the day, we like to give you the real news here at Diary Headquarters, we admonish you to stop listening to false puppets on your personal screen, the false puppets you have loved your entire life on the nightly news are no more than bags of crap attached to strings that are manipulated by unseen puppet masters who don’t give a shit for them or you, please people, you have stocked your pantry with enough toilet paper to stock a whole circus full of elephants, use some of it to wipe the deception from your eyes, this whole world is nothing but bullshit, and you are covered in it, clean yourself off, wash up, take that stupid mask off, and quit being distant, if you get any more distant than you have been your entire life, you will fall off your ball earth; Diary Headquarters is a virus-free zone, come join us, we still hug each other, and if someone sneezes, we don’t freak out, we are closer than we have ever been before, the only thing we quarantine around here is stupidity, well, it’s time for our regular Friday night Bingo, Brats, Beer, and Belch Fest, so I will bid the people of the earth, wherever you may find yourself during these deceptive times we live in, shalom…

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