A Peach Mint

Diary entry: Paulie must take this time to expound on this whole “impeachment thing”, number one, what’s the deal, I am stepping down from office as CEO of “Paulie Gee’s Realtime Diary Corporation Inc.” at the end of this year, c’mon people, it’s only thirteen days and you still want to vote to kick me out anyway, number two, this whole “impeachment thing” is a most egregious witch hunt in which the witch has become roasted like the last wienie on the grill after the grill master fell asleep with his head in the punch bowl, when the witch has been roasted in the fire this long, there is nothing left on the spit, let’s douse this inferno with cheap beer and move on, Paulie is appalled by the cheap tricks of those who seek his job, but Paulie is unfazed, do you not know that you seek to impeach not only Paulie, but Paulie’s family also, I asked my family last evening how they feel about being impeached, Smudge scratched his ear, little Smudge licked himself, and Goober my cat just stared vacantly like he always does, speaking of Goober, the tranquilizers the vet prescribed are working wonders, Goober seems to be back to his old self, he’s been “devilin’ the dog” as he used to do, instead of being Smudge’s personal rag doll that Smudge carries through the house in his mouth, I tried one of Goober’s new tranquilizers the other day but I didn’t like the effects, I spent the afternoon gorging on tuna fish and watching bird videos online, well, I’ve got work to do, I’m heading down to the pod room to pass out “Do not impeach” buttons to counter the big “IMPEACH” sign in the hallway and the little stickers that are stuck to everything around here, they say “Honk for impeachment”, someone even brought in a large box of goose calls so everyone could honk, it sounds like we’re in the state goose refuge, I’m making a list this season of all employees who are wearing goose call lanyards around their necks, I’m sending out Christmas cards to them, I found the cutest holiday greeting cards, they have a poinsettia motif on the front and when you open them up, there is an elf standing under the mistletoe, bent over with his pants down, and he has a peach and a candy cane tattooed on his rear, the caption in gold leaf on the bottom of the card reads “Kiss my peach mint bitch”, well, there is much to do as this old year winds to a close, so Paulie winds up this “Diary” entry by saying simply, shalom…

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