Lies On Paper, Beer On The Floor, And Jelly In The Air

Diary entry: Greetings everybody, now Paulie has been called a lot of things over the years but he has never been called stupid, that statement really isn’t true, I just wanted to see how it sounded in print, let me tell you about the first girl Paulie ever dated, she was a beautiful soul, she always asked me for help undoing the clasp that was behind her back, yeah, she wore a straight jacket, she could’ve been a free spirit but the institution kept holding her back… Diary entry: Hey, Paulie here, back at Panda Express, early evening, before the rush, a tall pretty dark haired Oriental waitress was explaining to Paulie that the “snake dance” wasn’t at all what Paulie had thought it was, the deadly mamba did not dance in the traditional way, hang on, my dog Smudge is lapping beer up off the floor, “Git!”, “Go on git!”, he gets really gassy when he drinks beer, plus it makes him pee, well, this is a somewhat truncated “Diary” entry so please allow Paulie to apologize for being short with you, we had a fight break out last night in the break room here at Paulie Gee’s Realtime Diary, and we have a huge mess to clean up, the conversation had turned to politics, and a melee ensued between “communist Democrats” who are bent on destroying a presidency occupied by a new age messiah, and “fascist Republicans” who only want to build a wall around free thought and freedom, people were throwing donuts at everybody, the break room ran red with jelly, all our holiday table centerpieces ended up on the roof, and some one pee’d in the coffee pot again, well, this is Paulie, headed down to Personnel to pick up more discharge forms, then to the break room to see how the cleanup is going, then to the office for the usual five o’clock smoke and martini, this is Paulie telling the world his secret holiday wish, “Can’t we please trash religion and politics ’til after New Years?”, this is Paulie, out, shalom…


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