Duck On A Crutch

Diary entry: This is Lame Duck CEO (By choice) of “Paulie Gee’s Realtime Diary”, Paulie, with several hand written letters from readers, this first one is from a Mr., lets see here, yeah okay, Mr. JesusJacker666, Mr. Jacker writes “Dear Paulie, my wife bakes jacked up Jesus cookies with the works, because you gotta have works to get to heaven”, alright, our second letter is from a Mr. Wilfred Blount, Mr. Blount writes “Dear Paulie, I come from a black family who used to worship Black Jesus, Mother would bake chocolate Jesus cookies for special occasions, to this day, I still enjoy dunking a chocolate Jesus cookie in my coffee, no cream of course”, this next letter is from Mrs. Edna Clear our dear next door neighbor, “Paulie, when are you going to pay for my two broken windows, your golf balls are in your gutter”, how did that one get in here, well, that about wraps up letter time, this is your Lame Duck CEO of “Paulie Gee’s Realtime Diary” (By choice), Paulie, saying keep the faith I guess, shalom… Diary entry: This is a short note from Paulie, I would like to say that this “Jesus cookie” thing is getting all out of control, we have become inundated with packages containing funny smelling Jesus cookies and brownies, most of the parcels have no return address and some have letters pasted on that look like they were cut out of newspapers, Paulie pleads with his readers, “Please stop”, we are in the process of building an impenetrable wall around our younger, more impetuous writers who refuse to stay within the borders of our newly implemented guidelines, “Do’s and Don’ts for Proper Diary Entries”, the border is porous, and unacceptable “Diary” entries continue to leak through, we vow that the money will come through to build a wall around all those who engage in unseemly and non mainstream writing, we are not in the business of censorship but when thought becomes too free, it must die, this Is Paulie here with a bold promise, our heavy boot will step down and we will crush unacceptable “Diary” entries before they can offend decent people who don’t like being offended, foreign ideas, phrases , and stories will no more be allowed to immigrate into a clean pure world to soil the status quo, Paulie vows this day that he will clean this mess up before he steps down from office at the end of this year, you have my solid promise, well, they are laying out a feed in the break room, beer, beans, baloney, and all the uncensored stories you can imagine, so as Paulie stirs his first martini and gets ready to stir the party, please allow me to say for all of us here, peace, love, and shalom to all whom we call family, the rest of you, well, go to hell…

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