Squids In The Litter Box

Diary entry: It seems these vet’s bills are more than what the animals are worth, I’ve mentioned before the cat’s ongoing chronic anal problem, anyway, that stupid cat has me and the dogs scratching now, how much can a man and his dogs take, now this isn’t my dear Little Goober, Little Goober was the light of my life but he had to go, this is Big Goober and he has a big digestive problem, he isn’t digesting his Panda Express squid leftovers too good, Paulie woke up on the bathroom floor this morning with a squid stuck to his face, Paulie loves his Big Goober but whew, Paulie remembers the words of a wise old man, “A small turd can have a big stink”, well, maybe there is another wise saying, “When a large cat craps out whole squid it’s time to drop him off in the country”… Diary entry: Panda Express, day 1,492 of my murder investigation, this investigation has had more twists and turns than a drunken hula dancer in a bouncy castle, how do you make heads or tails from a two headed coin, who knows, anyway, Panda Express, a tall, pretty, dark haired, Oriental waitress delicately set my Saki and noodles on the table, then she bent over and whispered softly into my ear “Foo Key Yoo Paulie”, yes, “Foo Key Yoo”, this Foo Key Yoo must be the name of the One Eared Man, the distant cousin of Mr. Kim, Mr. Kim was the most powerful man in Shing Dong Prefecture, there was only one man in the world that Mr. Kim feared and that was his distant cousin, now I had a name to go with the hideous one eared face I had seen weeks ago in that dark alley behind Panda Express, I decided that I would need a new strategy, a strategy to stalk a most dangerous beast and bring him down, I ordered another Saki and pondered my options, I grabbed my hat and thanked the pretty dark haired waitress for all she had done, then I headed to the office to map out the next leg of a marathon in which the winner was yet to be decided, don’t venture far from the “Diary” as the fire is hot and the rice cooker is about to boil over, shalom… Diary entry: Paulie the coroner has sharpened his cutting instruments, his digging tools will dig, dig deep, they will not stop nor will they fail, tonight Paulie will open up a murderer and collect his guts into glass receptacles, on this night, this very night, a murderer will be dissected, this murderer will no more study, study his evil plans and intentions, no, this night the murderer will be studied, the study will be from the other side, Paulie the coroner’s side, so grab your bibs and your aprons and your rubber gloves, lean in close, view the angry coroner’s vengeance on a fiend… Diary entry: These pills the vet gave me are making me scratch… well, Paulie’s love itch for his people will never go away, love, peace, and shalom to you all…

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