Abhorrent Language

Diary entry: Hey, Paulie here, many readers have sent in concerns concerning certain language that has been used here, within certain “Diary” entries, well, never let it be said that “Paulie Gee’s Realtime Diary” doesn’t listen to complaints, we are now implementing our new system that we hope will resolve reader concerns regarding the use of “abnormal language”, we have implemented our long discussed, but never fully realized, LBCP, our computer based Language Barrier Communications Platform, yes, we have contracted with a company that provides a Cloud Based Recognition System , CBRS, that can seek out and identify bad words and phrases, the type of things that offend decent people who hate being offended, this is a promise from the CEO of “Paulie Gee’s Realtime Diary”, we, the management, are on the case, we will not slow our progress, we will not weaken, we will not falter, until this disgusting language problem has been dealt with to the fullest extent possible, we shall overcome, we shall once again stand tall, we shall crisply salute our own, yes, stay here with us, you have a solid promise, “We will clear this shit up”, “We will scrub this toilet bowl clean until you can drink out of it”, our Surveillance Harnessing Interruptive and Interdictive Technology, SHIIT, will be online this week if things go right, please don’t abandon “Paulie Gee’s Realtime Diary” just yet, you don’t throw out the family dog just because he likes rolling around in stinking crap, no, you clean him back up and you love him again, as if he had never done such horrible things, well, this is Paulie, saying for most likely the last time, “Where are the goddamned olives for my fuckin’ martini”… Diary entry: Day 22, Paulie here, Paulie’s thought just escaped, Paulie has gone blank, the brain waves are soft, faded, washed out, Paulie apologizes, there will be no “Diary” entry made this day, adieu mi Mon Amie’s… Diary entry: Early evening, Panda Express, Paulie had given his shoes to the small man, presumably the houseboy, to be shined, as he indulged in Saki and a certain exotic Oriental dish, many customers here do not engage in the usual custom of removing one’s shoes and dining on the floor, Paulie does not judge people and their lack of proper manners, or their improper manners, no, Paulie see’s the bigger picture, men’s faults are of their own choosing, Paulie simply lives, anyway, Paulie’s shoes were returned to him after his meal, and much to Paulie’s fear, one of the freshly polished shoes contained a raw squid, yes, a squid, a squid placed in one’s shoe is an omen of the thing known as “Chinese justice”, the thing the opium addicted busboy had warned Paulie about, could this squid indeed be an indicator of Paulie’s future, we will not ever know, at least not until the future arrives, stay here close to “Paulie Gee’s Realtime Diary”, as things are beginning to get eerie at this Panda Express, but Paulie makes it known this day, Paulie will prevail, Paulie will once again arise out of this thing called “Murder At The Panda Express”, Paulie will ascend out of this foul morass of putrefying offal, Paulie will ascend up into the clouds where he will fly free, Paulie’s wide wings will carry him far above the stink of this Panda Express inquiry into murder, Paulie will soar far above this city, seeking his prey down below, then Paulie’s sharp wings will cut the air, Paulie will descend upon this monster who thinks he can murder and get away with it, Paulie is the large buzzard who feeds on diseased and rotting flesh, this murderer is a putrefied, rotted carcass of stinking, twisted, bowel refuse lying by the road, well, Paulie the buzzard is famished and Paulie will delight in eating his soupy, diseased, stinking remains, well, this is Paulie, saying to all, keep your hopes high, your heads down, and if you just can’t keep it real, then fake it the best you can, love and shalom to the family, the rest of you, I think you know the words by now, go to hell…

Advertisement

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s