A Bit Off The Mainline

Diary entry: Hey everybody, Paulie here, just came in the house, been out back burying the garbage, the sky looks weird again tonight, well, whats new, this goddamned world get’s weirder by the day, I hear that in Norway they say the world is a fjord of weeord, Paulie simply says “I could never pee a fjord of weeord as weeord as this weird ass world”, or something like that, please excuse Paulie if he doesn’t sound like his usual self, as life is taking it’s turns and Paulie’s hands are frozen to the steering wheel, Paulie feels as though he left the road somewhere back past the second Exit Street Turnoff, and before the South Confluence of the Main Street Thoroughfare, yeah, Paulie feels a bit off the main line… Diary entry: Holy fuck shittin’ insky, is this weak, watered down crap broth really real, it’s real, and people are chugging it down like it was ambrosia from the very gods themselves, you undiscerning, crap devouring retards, well, I guess if you are sucking up the shit off the bottom of the aquarium, the waters are clearer for me… Paulie says “Let the scum sucking bastards suck the scum”, it’s the reason they exist, they are the mollusks that eat the shit out of the water, they are the maggots that eat the dead offal off the lake bottom, so that we who have discernment may motor boat up top, shooting clean, clear water in our wake, in the clear wind of reality, yes, the clean, clear wind of reality blows through our hair as we soar over the very waves… Diary entry: Paulie truly apologizes for the tone of recent “Diary” entries, but Paulie feels as if this world has skinned him clear down to the gristle, Paulie feels depleted, Paulie feels like the world stabbed him in the chest with one of those real fat milkshake straws the ice cream place gives you, and the world is sucking the very juice out of Paulie, yes, Paulie is beginning to feel sucked dry… Diary entry: On a more positive note, the little gray haired ‘possum lady from down the street visited Paulie this evening, Paulie enjoys, no, desires, her company, but Paulie can’t touch her because she says she is in excruciating pain, anyway, when Paulie’s special “Skunk In The Hole” cocktails ran out, so did she… Diary entry: Cob, Cob wasn’t a particularly bad guy but he was crazy, real crazy, he kept this little puppet in his pocket and when people would in any way, annoy or agitate Cob, he would remove his puppet and have them speak to it, like some kind of surrogate, Cob would stop speaking his own words and speech would come out of his puppet, we could always tell who was speaking, you know, his close friends, we knew Cob’s voice and we recognized the voice of the puppet he kept, but the people who didn’t know Cob, they didn’t ever know who was speaking, Cob or the puppet… Diary entry: There are several phrases Paulie has heard repeatedly over the years, “Where you get that shit man”, “It’s not real man”, “That’s fuckin’ funny man”, and “Who are you and what the fuck are you supposed to be”… Diary entry: Paulie simply states once more, “Do not accept Paulie, but don’t reject him either”, well, this is Paulie in the late night, calling out in the darkness to whomever’s ears are still open, shalom my people, love and shalom…


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