History Rerevised

Diary entry: My darling little grandson is in the first grade, he brought me a crayon drawing he made of George Washington holding a hatchet beside a cherry tree and a stump, it was the cutest thing, the caption he wrote on the bottom said “George Washington was a goddamned liar”, obviously he is being home schooled… Diary entry: Speaking of home schooling, I remember my days as a young child being schooled at the old home, the old home was way out by the county line, next to the Peterson hog farm, sometimes the school would forget to lock the steel fence gate and some of us would sneak out of class and go try to ride the pigs, we never learned anything of substance out at the home, they said it was more about the discipline of living or some such thing, anyway, we had some awesome pig rodeos at Peterson’s… Diary entry: The man behind the counter said “You are nothing but a blank fart without any smell to it, you ain’t shit”, all I did was ask where the coffee lids were… Diary entry: Because of recent comments, concerns, innuendos, and threats, we here at “Paulie Gee’s Realtime Diary” have set new hiring guidelines for staff writers, we have decided to hire more mature individuals who have outgrown some of their uninhibited reactionary beliefs and attitudes in order to achieve a smoother continuity of “Diary” entries, and to cut down on the anxiety of opening emails, texts, letters, and the packages that have words on them that look like they were cut out of newspapers and pasted on, yes, from now on, new hires must have reached their fifteenth birthday by Labor Day 2019, this new age limit will be strictly enforced, our policy is to take full responsibility for our entire writing staff in order that you, the customer, can enjoy clean, fun “Diary” entries without hesitation, so climb aboard, enjoy your ride with confidence. our drivers are careful, courteous, caring, and over the age of fifteen, ride with us for all your “Diary” entry needs, shalom…

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