Late Evening, Panda Express

Diary entry: There is a crime epidemic surrounding this seemingly innocent neat as a pin Oriental restaurant that is tucked away among other seemingly innocent establishments, yes, there is a crime epidemic, but fortunately for the common rabble of inhabitants of this city, Paulie the investigator is the epidemiologist, yes, the epidemiologist that will locate, subdue, and transport a most heinous fiend back to the laboratory where he will be dealt with, as an epidemiologist deals with small germs, this destructive bacterium of a murderer will meet his end, at the end of Paulie’s vengeance, a warning goes out this night to whomever the murderer is, Paulie is out here in the night, Paulie is the great owl with laser eyes and large talons that span the whole county, Paulie the owl is famished and he is ready to devour the first murderous rat that scurries in the darkness… Diary entry: Paulie is just so sick of people asking what mental asylum he is from, first of all, it wasn’t an insane asylum, it was a “quiet therapy” school where Paulie was taught to be quiet, and anyway, it was long ago, back in the seventies, let’s all forget the past and our past mistakes and look to the future, okay… Diary entry: Paulie was a garbage collector at one time, the days were long and tiring, after long hours of emptying garbage containers, the whole staff would meet to unwind over at the “Can Can” room, yeah, the evenings were cool down at the “Can Can” Bar and Grill, I’ll never forget it, I’m cool just thinking about it… Diary entry: Are you having problems at work, do you hate everyone around you, does everyone hate you, are you downtrodden, forlorn, ready to just give it all up, well, before you do, read me, Paulie, read “Paulie Gee’s Realtime Diary”, I guarantee you will be affected in a deep down profound way, you may begin acting differently, speaking differently, you might lose that stupid puppet haircut, c’mon, get rid of those raggedy shirts you’ve been wearing, lose those baggy trousers with the one brown polka dot on the rear, give Paulie a chance to form you into something you might one day be proud of… Diary entry: We here at the “Diary” have hired on a new employee to sweep the floors and do odd jobs, he is a bit impetuous but eager, he says that sweeping the floor is broom work that should be left to the witches, he says women should sweep, men should write, he is quite outspoken but he has a good heart, he reminds Paulie of when he was young and his simple thoughts and words were many times misinterpreted by ladies who could swing a purse like Tony Kubek swung a bat in in the 1962 World Series…

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